can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
love makes seman taste better
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The air taste purple.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
