All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
