real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am puke
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
