Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
