I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
