DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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