he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
