just tell him i said nine months
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
