You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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