I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
