Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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