I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize