No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
