R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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