I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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