I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
