The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
