we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
