I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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