Too much gin, very little bucket
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
