i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
one might say we're banned from that church
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
