we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
