im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
