hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
