Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
