Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
