Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
