It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
