Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
