wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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