ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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