sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
