they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
