i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
