he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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