College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm too high and old for this...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
