Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
