People with herpes should wear stickers.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
