Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
