how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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