2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
