just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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