i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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