I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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