I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
