i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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