Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
