Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
