It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
