everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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