Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
