I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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