I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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