its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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