Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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