Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize