Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
