i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
