I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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