That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
