I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
