I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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