I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
